Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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