how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
