Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
