That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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