who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
