i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
