she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Swine flu is the new snow day.
either way he was missing a nipple.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
