Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize