I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
