Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize