I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i barfeds in our rink
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
