remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
