Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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