sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He shit in the fireplace
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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