She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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