I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
