Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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