How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
