miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
