he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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