Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
