it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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