I molested 6 butterflies tonight
...so i touched it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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