i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Your cock deserves a montage
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
