Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
