Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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