He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
