man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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