it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
