i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
