38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Who died my cat blue again?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize