Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
