i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
