Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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