Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
