No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
