I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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