i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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