did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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