Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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