i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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