Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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