I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
