Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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