the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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