You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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