the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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