Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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