I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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