I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
