I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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