hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize