Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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