I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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