So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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