We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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