Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
