YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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