I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize