He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
