Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize