This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
