It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
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I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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